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Talking to a non-Asian again made me feel how "square" my brain had beame.
argh
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Today, I just feel like uploading photos & photos & photos for this blog entry. :P
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如果我的家里环景不一样，
我的想法，看法，会不会不一样了呢？

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Tree
I used to have a tree outside my window. The tree is green, healthy,  huge & large. The huge tree block the sun, shade us from the sunny hot weather, creates wind & block us from air dust. Whenever I feel stress over my daily life, I will look out of the window. Somehow the wind, the tree, the greenery smooth my emotions. \
But due to some asshole, due to the new lift upgrading, they killed the tree. The tree was so large that they took 1.5 days to remove it. I seriously #%%$(%$*( the designer of this lift. He/she killed my tree.
This tree grew up with me, It's at least 26 years old. When I was young, the tree was short. Now that I am at the age of 22 years old, the tree grew so tall that I can't even see its top from my window.

If having a stupid new lift requires me to kill this tree, I would rather want the tree.
Its really saddening to see how the workers cut down the tree part by part and then how they even remove the roots. Even the roots are so big that they took much effort to remove it.
But I am glad that I took a photo of it before.

To come to think of that, Singapore is getting more and more concrete. To develop we remove more and more greenery, to prosperous, to earn money, to boost our economy , to survive, to improve living standards ( which is pretty much subjective ) ,to become cleaner,  to create value-added goods, buildings , buildings and buildings. Just the look of buildings irks me, seriously. Too many blocks of buildings here.

So, now, what's left outside is a plain flat soiled land. :(
I hope they wont remove the remaining greenery outside my window. It's so weird to look out of the window and I can't see the leaves of the tree.
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Before I went to sleep yesterday, I suddenly realised that
I should never ever never ever regret the choices I ever ever  made in my life. Because if I do, it's preventing me from moving on.
Simple, yet I only fully understood yesterday.
I should never ever ever ever ever ever regret the choice I made.
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やばり、無理だ。いつも自分の空想だけ。
期待を高すきだ。
現実はそなに簡単じゃないが、複雑な。。
自分の空想だけど、やってみたいん。愚かな？
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どうしようかな。卒業後、何をやるつもりだ。
勉強することを続ける？仕事を探す？
好きな仕事を探すことができるかどうか分からないん。祈ります。
お金と趣味どちらを選んですか。どちらが一番大切ですか？自分で考えても答えがない。
楽しみではない。
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" to leave everything to fate."
ah. easy to say, hard to execute. I always get so stressed up when I meet something that is out of my control. 
自分でコントロールできないことが嫌いんです。でも、人生だから、しょうがない。