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I hate my own stubbornness. Whenever I put in my feeling/effort inside something/someone, I refuse to withdraw/retreat myself from the situation/the person even if I know for sure that the thing/someone is going to fail me. I still continue anyway,
Why am I such an asshole?
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In school, grades are very important, it determine your chances, your treatment & almost everything school related. . I know grades isn't about everything, but its contributes 90 % of the time.
I experienced/saw yet again the differences today. Disgusted, yet there's nothing I could do.
somehow, it makes me feel like an idiot/ stupid person which I do doubt myself sometimes.
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I mocked at my own naiveness. Things aren't so simple. I do agree that things aren't always complicated too. But at least, things aren't that simple than I think.
It only happened in my dream.
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sometimes I think i am really greedy until i seriously wonder if I know the word " 知足".
Knowing is a think, understanding is another.
I think i only know the meaning
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I hope I really really really really really really learnt my lesson.
please behave appropriately

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I started to really wonder are you the same kind of person as me.
or, i am just being judgmental again.
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I admit, I teared a little when my brother bidded goodbye to me at Tekong to me.
Ah, i seriously think i am going to miss my brother at home. X:
but you know what i learnt, the world doesn't stop moving for you/when someone is gone. People eventually will move on and adapt to it.
I guess, it's just a matter of time that i can adpat to the fact that "my brother is not at home."
but for now, i seriously miss my brother, the moment he bid goodbye. :(
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I think, i finally know what kind of guys I am attracted to.
definitely not based on their finanical status.
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sometimes, the more I grow up, the more i don't know exactly who I am, how i really feel & what I really want.
I have always been not truthful to myself. I showed different side of me to different ppl until I  Idon't know what the hack I am doing.
Sometimes, in order to make myself do my best, I forced myself to shut off my own feeling and performed task that are expected of me.
Someone praised me for something I have done today. But I felt nothing, no happiness. Only at that moment, I realised that I lost my true self & changed to a person that is expected of me.
I guess, this is what Cooley's looking glass self meant.