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Went to the first convo cermony ( not inside though) today! Like, so fast! The seniors I knew - used to guide me through, talk sense to , teaches me both good & bad stuffs && lunch-y/dinner with me , outing with me, do jac events with me are graduating. ( GRADUATED )When I walked into the lobby of SBS, I saw so many graduates wearing the black square hat & oversize blazers. Guys with a tie, girls with a pair of heels. Everyone's busying taking photo, chatting, holding a bear/soft toy.Recruiters/surveryors presented. && my seniors told me that around 90% of their friends already found a job.

LOOK, HOW TIME FLIES & & how things changes in life. I wonder how will i be when it's my turn two years later.

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こんばんは皆さん！（今私のブログで読む人がいますか？）３月日本語のクラスをやめるのせいで、今日本語学ぶこと動機はなし。私が日本語を忘れられたかな。。心配しても、私は何もすることができません。ただいまｆｂで日本語で友達をコメントしました。あのとき、突然は[日本語は絶対忘れない！]と思います。プログラマ能力や語彙能力やどんどん減ります。

もすぐ、スウェーデンへいくつもりだ。日本語を混乱させるのはしんぱいしますから、スウェーデン語を習いたくない。言い訳じゃないよ！本当に心配していますから。今回は５月間スウェーデンへいきます。さらに初めで一人で家を出るので、ちょっとイライラする。８月６日、飛行機を乗って、シンガポールよりぜんぜん違う国で生きて、新しい友達一緒にアパートで住んで、季節も違う国で生活を始まります。楽しみしても、私個人として、シンガポールはいつも私のホームです！他の国の代わりにできないこと。


追伸；私のパーティーは日曜日です！気がなる！
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Less than a month,
I start to panic, feel scared , worried, uneasy already.
I wonder if i will cry at the airport, { I'm not joking}
I think i wont be so worried if i'm going an Asian country,
Maybe maybe, I think my baggage will overweight, by the amount of stuffs i'm intending to bring over, the liquids.
OMG
now, suddenly i want the time to stop.

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People come & go in your life, sometimes i just dont want to waste my effort in building up friendship that i noe it wont last long, as what we always mean " a hi-bye friendship".

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It's another time whereby, I think talking kok infront of people already made you win 70% of the battle

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In one day, I learnt so much, I wish I am like them, the first time i ever ever start doubting my own capability.

Am I in the wrong course that shaped what i am?
or the character I am borned and trained to be

now, i regret not rejecting them.
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Now

Now, i think of money again. The financial aspect of this trip is so bad. whenever we start talking about money, i worry. I worry about so many stuffs. I tried to grab as many money as possible whenever i can, but i'm still worried about money. && what worse,now I start regretting the destination i chose myself, starting to blame myself for not being realistic & forcast the financial situation well. I hope, I pray & i really hope everything goes well.

& today i learnt something. Last time, i really feel that showing different side to different person is fake, but neccessary.But now, i think showing different side to different person is not fake, it's neccessary and required to make things work more efficiently, faster, easilier & swifter. We need to control well our expression, the way we talk, the tone we use, the way we hide our anger/dismay in front of ours. The better you can handle, the higher you go & the better you get. Easy to say, but hard to be done. But whether you agree anot, i think this behavouior isnt fake, at least for now, that's what i think. I think it is the same idealogoy that i mentioned (previously) about the process of attaining your goals regardless of what method you are using. I suddenly realise that because if you ever noe, I had a big fight will someone recently & i apparently saw "myself" in the office today. mistake made & learnt.

anyway, my collegue beside me got scolded my one of the boss over a stapled paper. This is ridiculous, but then you still have to suck this up simply because he's your boss, whether you like it anot. My collegue feel so offended that she was actually crying in front of me. Sometimes, the biggest advantage of working during hoildays is that you get to see how society works, in a bad way, from there you learn your way through, you learn how to communciate with people, how to spot... FOr now, I'm a temp, usually no one really care/scold temp staffs. I am sheltered. But I 'm worried about my future boss too!

All these isnt found in my textbook & i wont learn this in classroom/exam. All these are ugly truths, but i should better bear this in my mind & not ever forget them.
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(if it's a mickey, it will be better! haha)
here come the last week of work soon ( but i dont feel the excitment) kind of one of the rare few occasions whereby I feel kind of sad to leave. Not solely because i will become jobless & and no money. My collegues( because i am a temp) is great!- like my current company is best -up till now at least for their treatment for temp/partimers. maybe because they rarely have temp staffs in the department. my job in sales department issit that easy, sometimes i will sit at my place for 4 hours with leaving my desk/not looking at my phone/working over lunch hours. busy sales coordinator job, but yet one of the office job i learnt/enjoyed a fair bit.

cant bear to leave the office. the point whereby they invited me to some event saying " this is drew" , i suddenly feel a sense of gratitude.<-- due to my past very bad experience in a town office tower.
& at the next moment, i told myself " to remain numb towards separations". i rmbed how one of my classmate asked me "why dont you feel sad over XXXXX going off". i replied "because i got so numb over separations in life". OMG, i hope i can remain numb on friday.

Kinda regret not shaking hands with the HR ( if you understand what i meant)