i just feel a sense of accomplishment, and nothing.
N.O.T.H.I.N.G. because that isn't the result i wanted. this isn't the outcome i wanted to see.
i noe i am already very very very very very very very very very lucky, super duper.
but well....
Wednesday, April 28, 2010, 9:26 PM
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u noe, sometimes when u grew up, ur mindset do change. been doing some stuffs alone myself nowadays. like, going shopping alone, eating lunch alone in town,sitting in starbucks studying alone, walking on streets alone. last time i won't do that. but, ironically, now i enjoy doing tat. japanese lessons are becoming more & more challenging, with more new words, verbs, adjective, joing sentences added into it. but well, i'll continue basic 2.
even though i work very little nowafays, but i do enjoy my life now. everythng's prefect. going to study japanese every weekdays, morderate of work , shopping sometimes , eating good food in town,meeting new ppl around {mostly older} && of course spenting more time reflecting. { that's pretty sumed up my life. } & i clearly noe that i don't want to end up my life like.... &&& i realise that town sells really good bread. there's quite a number of bread shops & the price is about the same as the panya near my house.
next month will be a pretty fun one! because i'm going to malaysia &&& taiwan, and of course hk airport. here i come, disney store! :0
&& the cute guy sitting in front of me have been tvoicing out alot in class lately. HAHHAHA
there's lots of things happened this week, up & down. saw true people, disppointed with relationships, society, have a hard time figuring out myself these two days, worrying many stuffs, feeling very dumb/stupid. it took 1 year/10 years to build one's reputation, but u can easily destroy everything in just one mintue. i will & never forget. & then there's the guy sitting beside me was asking me if i want to take a cab with him since he's going to his resturant. &&& i also went to shopping alone, and brought alot of stuffs, tops, dress, cardigan , shoes! :) that's all. i need to study my japanese again, but i really really don't feel like to now. but if i don't, i will struggle on monday. i am going to sign up to continue BASIC CLASS 2 next week! :D hope that the cute guy sitting in front of me will continue for BASIC 2 too! HAHHAA
Wednesday, April 21, 2010, 10:32 PM
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sometimes, i just can't stand navie people around me. because i won't comment much, since i am in no position/ no right to say tat i am always correct. nor, do i think that i am so mature.
but whatsoever, i noe i might sounds rude or what;
ja! watashi wa 11ji ni ne masu.
{even though i don't noe if it's correct }
sort of adpated to my japanese lessons,seeing all the japanese word on the whiteboard, figuring out word by word, having dictation, taking an hour or 2 doing homwork , taking long train ride to town just for lessons, cutting down my working hours. but i still don't like the idea of speaking up in class especially when my sensei called my name, not only tat i still cannot adpated to sitting beside with the guy. well, &&& i have been talking to the cute guy sitting in front of me though.
not only tat, become more familiar with some of my classmates. &&& went to zm's house to do tiramisu today, both of us was soooo tired after doing it. and it isn't well done though.
, 9:10 AM
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people always comment that i am too pessimistic. but i always told myself that
"i'm not, it's just tat i am being too realistic. "
i just don't want to land myself in the " worst case " scenario.
Monday, April 19, 2010, 10:42 PM
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i seriously envy or maybe to the extent of jealous of some my friends who have the confident to shout out loud what they wanted to do in future. but i agreed, what they wanted to do is offered in local uni & it's a more "mainstream" course.
the cute guy sitting in front of me told me confidently today that " I want to be a kenkyusha" {engineering} and well, he is admited to chem engineering in nus cause he scored super good for his GPA, had ntu chem engineering on sat.
do you noe tat how envy i was when i heard what he told me?
{ no wonder he is my eyecandy for now. }
my dreams, my future job, what i want to do in future , doesn't seem to be offered here. even if there is some courses that slightly interested me, with my lousy gp grade, ferice competition, i doubt i can get in. ironically, i am saying all this bullshit when the application is closed. i once had an interest in the tourism industry, but i chose college 3 years back. i don't regret, but i really wondered what the hell i want to do now? i need to talk to my cousin before i go nuts.
Friday, April 16, 2010, 9:04 AM
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S.E.R.I.O.U.S.L.Y
I AM SO SO SO SO SO SO SO VEXED NOW. EVERYTHING ISN'T THE WAY I WANTED TO BE. RELATIONSHIPS WITH PEOPLE, WORK..... EVERYTHING IS WRONG. & I JUST FEEL LIKE RUNNING AWAY NOW, TO A PLACE NO ONE CAN FIND ME.
Thursday, April 15, 2010, 8:23 AM
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{i always want to try making a super cute lunchbox. }
well, life been great. japanese lessons, work at DON, eating at orchard road { i mean those small booths instead. they sell very interesting food though! } , meeting up with friends. and i guess tat's my cycle. i'm enjoying life, but yet on the other hand, i start worrying over something else. well. well,&&&&&& i realise that japanese, when they come to work, they are very serious, dead serious till it will make u =/, masa san, igar san. anyway, tuesday work was fun because yL came to just help out one day. she was telling me a lot of funny jokes & i was laughing. lol!
anyway, i think the guy sitting in front of me during japanese lesson is cute. HAHAHAHA.didn't have a change to talk to him much though. =/
Monday, April 12, 2010, 8:57 AM
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been meeting up with people nowadays. tanyy & cyn yesterday to eat dinner {tat was random } at billy bombers. HAHAHAH bill went up to -.- well, we were eating chocolate foundone when we spotted something inside the food. that kind of thing also happened at my working place, so we got a new one instead. oh &&& meet up with joanna soh at fish & co to do some catch up. she's going to some attachement on sep instead. well, i'm interested in her course because that was intially the course i wanted to go into three years back. { but well, i don't think too much} anyway, i spent like 1 hour decorating my resturant in resturant city, but i still couldn't get the hang of it. :(
been long since i met up with my jc clique. well, soon! :)
&&& masa cooked like lunch for me even though i'm leaving at around 2.30pm . cause lunch usually not provided at 2.30pm. :( well, going to japanese class lesson in 1 hour time. :( :(
dictation dictation dictation, new class new class.
well, i hope i can get used to it. i have no one to click with in class because there isn't any girl that is aroud my age. i mean there's couples of 20s & 40s but no 10s. :/ there's one or two guys that is my age, but well, i don't think i would click with guys right! so , break was sooooooo bored for me, cause all i do is to sit down & &&&& stare . this is so sian. but i met my sensei at liang court during the weekends. she came here to eat/ shopping with her ny husband.
Friday, April 09, 2010, 10:53 PM
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i think reality is so harsh.
look at this, if a guy see an average girl , he will smile.
but if a guy see a cute girl, he will smile vividly.
if a guy see another guy, i don't think he would even smile/or maybe smile only slightly.
during work, a cute girl can "choose" the job to do.
this logic can be apply to many stuffs in life.
just like, if u have money, u might even be able to buy qualifications.
this is so unfair. well, life isn't fair always. it's not true that as long as u work hard, u will get what you want. sometimes, all u need is plenty of luck. but i believe that if u don't have any luck & u still don't work hard, then gg. well....
just some random thoughts.
but seriously, i cannot stand this two kind of stuffs.
{well, i'm not pinpointing anyone, just whinning }
p.s. no offence though. just wanted to pen down some thoughts.
, 8:34 AM
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S.E.R.I.O.U.S.L.Y,
i didn't noe that the seating arrangment for first lesson is so important. if not i won't sitting there already. X=. well, my parnter that sit beside me noes almost all the things, &&& as u see, i'm those slow person, i need to practice more before i can speak. and of course , since secondary school i always have promblem speaking. been talking to myself on the way to work/take mrt train. i bet people around me thought i am insane. well, but i don't like the idea of sitting beside such a celever/ noes-everything person. it make me feel so pressure. & i wondered to myself if this is really the basic 1 class? dictation everyday. this is so scary, especially the guys sitting in front of me are fast learner. he don't take notes, sit there, & he can rmb everything. {cause i saw how he does his dictation yesterday. -.- }
Wednesday, April 07, 2010, 10:01 PM
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omg. ít's the second lesson & i seriously have a hard time handling the basic words.
i mean, u see, my class is full of smart ass. :( they seemed to noe the word /memorise the word immediately when they see the words.
for instance, there's one hwachong jc guy who is 21 years old, scored ALL As in his a levels& trying to apply for scholar ship now, there's this china girl getting MBA scholarship {s tudying in singapore now& she finished learning korean }, and there's this PROUD jap resturant boss who is sitting beside me { and he smoke, } noes everything. &&& there's a malaysia girls who is sooooo hardworking & kept asking question.& what worse, today there's dictation & i don't noe wth i am writing on my paper man. zzZzzz. cause i don't noe what sensei is saying, my brain cannot twist man. zzzzz sensei already start noticing me {She called my name alot of times } & i bet tml she will called me more when she sees my dictation score. actually, i don't really look forward to tml lesson heh, u see, i don't noe anyone in the class so i couldn't ask for help. :( :( this is bad. very very very very very very very evry very very bad. & it seemed that everyday there's dictation. DICTATION. u see, we are all sitting in an enclosed room, and sensei noes all our name already heh. shit shit shit shit shit shit.
wish me all the luck man.
back to study the a i u e o, ka ki ku ke ko, sa si su se so , ta ti (chi) tsu te to .
, 9:06 AM
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still alive. but that'what i'm feeling now. ( the picture on top )
well, serveral stuffs happened. yesterday was my first japanese lesson in town. i was late for 5 mintues. my sensei is a japanese women who is about lates twenties. her english is supber good! LOL! she said she when to america to learn english. :) anyway, i was pretty scared yesterday cause it was kind of my first time going to class alone. new clasmates, new enviroment & stuffs. well, saw some guys & girls about my ages. & i have taiwanese, malaysia, philiphines, china people in my class! :) well, i think japanese is kind of very very very very very very very very very very very very very difficult to master. =/ =/ was pretty drained out after the lessons cause it's like 3 hours of new information. so, i have to make a loooooooooong train ride down on weekdays to town.
anyway, the travel agency called us yesterday &&& my trip to taiwan with yL & tanyy , to taipei is comfirm! going 5 days at taipei only from 14 to 18 may, living in a so-so hotel la! heh! going to stop over at Hongkong airport for two hours! actually i'm pretty excited over that, cause there's the DISNEY STORE in hongkong airport &&&& nice nice laopopin in hongkong airport too! dinsey stores sells some stuffs from disneyland &&& alot of mickey mouse things also! this means that i have to exchange two currencies, one hk, & the other is NT. and and and i think it's going to be summer in taipei! so i guess all the clothes are suitable for wear in singaporu. :)
Sunday, April 04, 2010, 9:24 PM
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sometimes, it's not that i'm not concerned with ppl around, it's just tat i don't noe how to touch on such sensitive topics.
sometimes, it's not that i don't want to have dreams, it's just tat i'll end up very disappointed when it's not fullfilled.
sometimes, it's not that i don't want to take actions, it's just that everything just stumbled.
{ credits to www.nataliedee.com }
i think reality is so harsh. 
still alive. but that'what i'm feeling now. ( the picture on top ) :max_bytes(150000):strip_icc()/GettyImages-921493782-9a70dc6a313e4497ba07412c2870573a.jpg)
