"just leave me alone."
its been exactly a week without communciation. The funny thing is, we watch each other IG stories.
how can things get more complicated?
My mum showed me a pretty wedding invitation from her friend.
how i wish i am getting married soon
& how i wish i can join in the conversation of my friends who constantly discussing excitingly about their BTO area and blalala.
So where is the guy that i am waiting for?
Sunday, June 03, 2018, 9:13 PM
Social media can make a "couple" fight.
now i totally understand.
Last Thursday, I fought with my "supposingly bf" due to social media.
As i was about the add in on my FB account, I realise that his status was "single"
Dont ask me why; but of course i was in a surge of anger
& i msg him and fight with him
he called me and i refused to pick up his call and told him "leave me alone tonight"
Thinking back now,
it was pretty much a childish act.
But now, he is indeed leaving me alone. Been 4 days and yet he havent approach me at all.
What do you want , Liling?
What meant to be will be?
Wednesday, May 30, 2018, 9:22 PM
The thing about love is that ;
when the guy came back to me with this damn innocent emotion,
i just decided to forgive.
i need to stop it.
Anyway, this supposingly my "boyfriend" now doesn't reply my last WA message.
& he went around IG liking other girls photo.
at the back of my mind; i am jealous and i still care. ( if not why did i make an effort to stalk in on IG)
But at the back of my mine; i constantly know that i need to let him go.
Please dont come back and talk to me, if not my heart will go soft to you.
for my own good, this kind of guys need to go.
off my life.
its hard, hurt and difficult. but i must do it.
Thursday, May 17, 2018, 10:19 PM
I said yes to the guy about 20 days ago;
the guy i know i shouldnt fall in love with
& since then ,
my heart was so lonely, more lonely than when i was single back then.
havent been so dishearten before
What should you do when you already told your guy that your needs but simply he just ignore...
not ignore totally though but i guess partially.
am i the one picky?
am i the one making things difficult?
dont get me wrong;
i mentioned once, argued once with him, & it continue.........................................
and now i grew so tired of bringing up this topic again.
someone once told me that it's a good thing that people fight/argue with you. because it simply means they care.
& if there's no fight or agruement, then we simply just don't care anymore.
Waiting for this relationship to end?
but i dont want to be the bad person to begin with.
I'll just waiting for him to say the break up topic.
every since this relationship started and i am not happy at all.
i got more sad than when i was single back then.
Monday, April 09, 2018, 8:39 PM
No one knows.
You know, i am feeling so lonely and empty in life.
Life humbles and changes me so much.
Seeing how people progress and move on with their life,
MARRIAGE, how my cousin who i used to go out together is busy planning for marriage / house, it disheartened me.
I appear to be happy but i wasnt at all.
but i am sooooooooo lonely.
I wonder in this world, is there someone really there for me?
Monday, April 02, 2018, 8:50 PM
I miss my Thai Friend
I miss the xx guy
I miss them.
& to think of them , I felt so sad.
I know the xx guy is a trouble but I put in my real feeling.
One day, if i get hurt (which is now), I will feel not pity myself. Because I know, it's my problem.
"I know you were trouble ..."
I miss them. can't help to be crying / sobbing at one corner somehow.
I tried to keep my eyes wide open but tear just kept dropping down.
Maybe I am too free that I kept thinking about it.
Or prepahs, I should just find something to occupy myself.
A proud Leo hiding at one corner.
The last thing I want is to make people see I cry or feel sad .
Saturday, March 31, 2018, 8:41 PM
One of my closest thai Friend is headed back to Thailand today.
Actually I am very sad deep down in my heart. But as a typical Leo and proud women, of course I look as much as possible Normal in front of everyone. & make people seemed like I am really coping well of her departure.
But me , being myself knows that I am not well inside my heart. Heart brokened and sad.
You know, it's always really sad to see people leave in my life.
Well, you can say that Thailand and Singapore is very near, but of course it will be different !! When I need my Friend , she won't be physically around to comfort me . ( just like I feel so empty being in LDR) --> I am sort of but not really (?!) .
It really sadden me to see people leave me.
Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't be having close foreign Friends. Because I know they will leave singapore city one day and then the whole story of "how sad and lonely" I am will repeat.
This isn't the first time that happened, but definitely I can't help to be really sad about it.
Have been pretty dull over her departure since 2 weeks ago.
Time don't stop to wait for people, it's ticking always.
&In the end
People just leave.
&I I got so negative at work because I saw too many people left the company. I know it's for the good of them. But sometimes I wonder , am I too loyal to this company ?
It all links up