I don't know if it's my pre-period and thus I am feeling down
I felt really down now
Like, my job yet again .i went for this tarot reading that day.
She told me that I am internally not balanced and need to find my inner spirit back , start believe in yourself , learn to receive from god and get in touch regliously
I have to much ego talking and life is not just about my own.
I agreed to some extend . 😐😐😐😐
I kept thinking my job is unfair but prepahs the real reason is me myself?
Blinded by anger and decide to stop receiving .
26 this year and I don't want to felt restless this year again
Thursday, January 05, 2017, 8:30 PM
Many things happened & this is probably one of the days that i felt so down over work.
Ever since i changed my job rotation, i have been so down .
it looks glamorous from the outside, but the inside is like rot.
Today i heard that a guy who came into office about 1/2 year later than me is sent for placement in my thailand office.
my heart sank like real hard.
I kept wondering if its because of my incompetency and hence i am not selected (?) or simply due that i am a girl ( such discrimination do happened in my company even though this is 21st century_)
so now its only left with
2. car licence
hang on there, liling!
Sunday, December 04, 2016, 9:03 PM
Can a girl & a guy be really be pure friends ?
Now I am really doubting so.
Thursday, November 17, 2016, 9:00 PM
, 9:00 PM
actually when you are in a whatapp group chat,
your friends start talking about BTO, buying resale flats , double dates & wedding,...
your heart sank.
i cant help it but at some point of my heart, i felt 失落
but that day i realised how much i am worried to get myself a boyfriend and then get pregnant.
will i become really unmarried in my this life?
sometimes i really wonder.
Wednesday, November 09, 2016, 9:40 PM
You know I felt bad today about myself.
Today I went for an interview
It's a job that I wanted , the reporting manager is not bad I Guess
But what I don't like was
-small company (too small)
- far from mrt
-leave only 10 annual leave 😱😱😱
It was through an agency. So the agency asked me about my interest about this job due the hiring manager is keen to offer it to me.
& I actually reply. First ,
"Let me know the whole remuneration package"
From that second , until now, I felt so ashamed of myself
So much of what I have been saying , to do a job I like and stuffs
But at the end of the day
Look what i actually consider
But I think "small company" and "far from mrt" play some role
How materialistic have I thought to myself
I felt really bad about that Japanese manager. He is very sincere when he talked to me
I Guess he really wanted to hire me.
Monday, October 24, 2016, 3:47 PM
I want to find a job that I think I like and venture into another aspect that I think that it is beneficial.
I do not want to find a job just for the sake of finding a job and to "escape" my current job scope.
Almost reached this stage and got lost.
Until today I rejected a job opportunity from a well-known organization. Then, at the back of my heart , I told myself:
"what have I done?"
It's ok to wander, but don't get lose in the momentum of finding a job.
I have to bear this in mind and keep reminding myself.
Because at the end of the day, if I get a job that clearly I do not like it, then isn't it back to point 1 again?
Sunday, August 21, 2016, 8:01 PM
Omg!!! Guys & Girls, i am so sorry that this blog havent been updated for sooo long!!!
I dont know if anyone is still visiting this blog.
I totally forgot about it until today!!!
I am still determine to leave this blog as it is as compared to most of my friend who eventually closed down theirs...........
ok. many things happened in this past 2 months
1. Had one of my toughest business trip to Indonesia. The accommodation, food, flight everything is good. But i have to work till 10.30pm everyday ( except a day i think) & do things work that i didnt like to. Been doing calculation & analysis work everyday, numbers & numbers , excel & excel worksheet. It was really tough, really because it isnt my expertise. & all the kaizen project that will be coming,,,,,
It made me re-consider this job again. I stayed so long because i have great colleagues that actually went beyond the "colleague " line. We are friends outside of work, laugh together, siam boss together... I told my boss but she seemed dont really care about it.
2. Had my birthday! Turned 25 this year. Quarter life crisis. No boyfriend, no career . :(
I'm glad i celebrated well with a day off. Went massage & signed a package for back massage :)) (Tee-hee) totally OL!!
Had a free swensen meal on a weekday. Luxury dia
3. Best Friend graduated!!! This friend of my is very complicated. We are very close. He influence alot to me , much more than my parents. Quite scary sometimes, but i couldn't imagine if i havent have this close friend of mine!!
4. Too cute to be eaten, isnt it? This does not need elaboration. But well, i dont usually go for such cafe unless my friend dragged me to go...
It was expensive, btw.
Ok, not all is great....
I had my
5. 4 months iphone spoilt --> seriously, just 4 months? Sent to repair but end up i got other's people phone and it is consider a refurbished one. Very sad & angry when i came to realise this. Did i made the right choice to spent 800+ Sgd just to buy a iphone?
6. Life isnt great . I have to admit here since not much people read about it....
I got so lost this year. My aspiration, goals ... it just become blurred. If you ask me now, i seriously have no idea what to do. I know i dont really like my new job scope now. I am going to quit.
But what am i going to do after i quit?
I dont know, that's the part that made me felt scared & lost. I dont know it's because i have stayed in this company too long that i became stagnant or if Singapore society had affect me so much that i am apdating to the mainstream,,
I have been in search of my life meaning but i still seemed not to get anything out of it.
Sometimes, at the end of the day, end of the work i got so depressed because i dont know what i am doing in my life.
I didnt have such depressing moments in my life before , even when i was faced with intense stress when i was back as a student.
So , what is my next step? What do i want to achieve?
I looked at the sky someday and i dont know what exactly am i thinking about?!
7. Lastly, my teeth.
My teeth had a problem again. It was decay due to my previously extraction of wisdom tooth. I was so worried about that expecially after i went to see the dentist. You know some dentist are very experienced but they are out there like a sales person. But some dentist are not experienced, but they have the heart to help you the best you could,.
which kind of dentist do you prefer? the first one or the latter? But i am glad i dragged myself to see the dentist, even though so much of unwillingly. I did it on my birthday somemore. HHAHHAA
I will remmeber to come over to update my memories here. :)