Today I get some shit from one of my friend. Well, it isn't actually a shit.
Usually, I will get really irritated if I bumped into such a thing.
But today, I am just a little pissed off at the beginning.
Friday, August 29, 2014, 11:07 PM
Now that i think of the xxx, I don't feel much anymore
I started to feel neutral. It's like i don't feel very peace but yet I somehow feel peace.
Either it's getting better,
I am just too disheartened or my heart just died.
But i am glad i don't feel much
I rather my heart just died from all the emotions than to be back it used to be.
I am such a timid asshole.
I am afraid to bet.
because i am afraid of losing
Thursday, August 21, 2014, 11:22 PM
i am feeling a little freak out by myself now.
because thats the first time i encountered like that
, 4:31 PM
I finally understood where my peace came from.
The once irritating guy that i used to think , isn't irritating anymore.
The unfairness,the being cheat feeling, the pissed off, the anger, the 无奈 i met during life isn't there anymore.
That's not peace, but rather, emotionless.
I sat at a corner of a cafe, feeling emotionless.
Emotionless inside yet living a normal life from outside.
I don't deny, i can even teh a guy now.I got a shocked myself yesterday
, 11:48 AM
, 11:35 AM
Today I woke up in the morning.
I felt exceptionally peace. I don't know why. But just peace.
Like your heart died and you can't feel much stuffs. like everything in your life that you are holding on doesn't matter now.
On a brighter side, I dont feel sad/stress nor miss.
But on the dark side, it kind of scared the hell out of me.
I know, for now, I am enjoying this peace. I controlled my mind in the way that I don't want to think so much.
I would rather become an emotionless person for now.